Assalamualaikum wbt and hello to whomever reading this!
First of all, aku bukan nak buat review sebagai seorang aku yang dah menjadi cikgu ni. Aku sebenarnya nak menulis tentang anak soleh ku. Sebab aku rasa, posting on Instagram or Facebook has become too public. Blogging is no longer the site people would visit, but my kids could - in the future.
So aku pun dengan azam yang masih nak menulis ni, decide nak tulis sini lah! Haha.
Untuk tahun 2026, first day of school jatuh pada 12 Jan. Which means anak soleh aku, Fahri dah masuk darjah 1! Sobs. Aku sejujurnya cuak, sebab cemana aku nak urus dia, nak pi mai pi mai, how do I balance everything? Let's just say seminggu sebelum sekolah bermula aku dah mula sakit kepala stress sebab overthinking.
Tapi kita manusia hanyalah merancang, Allah yang menentukan. Anak soleh aku kurang sihat bermula Sabtu malam. Ahad malam pun masih sama muntah muntah. Jadi kami pun proceed ambil MC untuk dia. Aku agak sedih dia tak dapat hadir 1st day, but being standard one, everyday there would be something new for them to learn so aku redha.
Here goes;
Day 1 - MC.
Day 2 - Elok. Masuk, duduk and line up elok.
Waktu rehat pun mommy sampai lambat sikit, dia dah duduk and bukak bekal. He's all good alhamdulillah.
Day 3 - Pun okay, naik atas letak beg. Turun, salam mommy. Elok alhamdulillah. Mai waktu rehat, mommy pi, nak ajar dia beli makanan.
Bila dia tau mi goreng tu satu pinggan seringgit, terus nak makan dua pinggan. Haha the innocence, I wish I could capture that smile. But I said makan satu dulu. Satgi baru beli lain. Then all is well.
Mai hari ke 4 ni, entah lah. Jadi punca mommy anxiety setiap hari sampai sekarang (week 2 as Im writing).
Day 4 - Since I want to teach him, I told him to walk by himself masuk dalam pagar ikut laluan tu. Ya Allah mata dah berair ya di sini. So I said, esok mommy dah takleh ikut tau? Beliau angguk. So we both walked inside. Sampai ke tapak assembly, suruh dia naik letak bag kat atas. He went. So I went to hide kat tiang mana mana. Saja la nak tengok dia boleh ka dak cari tempat duduk.
Sekali tengok, nohhh mata berair dah cari mommy. Allahu anak soleh. Sesungguhnya bila Fahri tua dan baca blog mommy ni, mommy harap Fahri boleh tau betapa luluh nya hati mommy tengok kesedihan Fahri. So I rushed to hug him and asked why did he cry? Dia just cakap Mommy takdak. So I said it's okay, duduk dengan kawan kawan.
Mai masa rehat, another drama. Dia turun cari mommy takda, so dia slowly jalan pi ke arah makcik kantin and said, "Nak mommy..". Hiding from afar, I ran towards him. "Kenapa nangis cari mommy? Fahri kena cari tempat duduk la..". So it was all fine. Sampai la depa beratur ramai-ramai baca doa makan. Habis ja baca doa tu, dia lari semula mai kat mommy dia and said nak ikut mommy. Nangis ya.
Many witnessed this journey of yours, my son. Ada toknjang Puli, ada cikgu Shah - ayah Aleesya, ada maktok Aaron (ibu aunty bulan), ada ibu Faris (cikgu Fazira - colleague mommy) and also ada some parents yang mommy baru berkenalan. I know you will grow stronger but this start of the journey, ya Allah... Nervous mommy.
End up mommy kena hantar Fahri sampai atas, pass Fahri ke cikgu dalam keadaan Fahri nangis tu. Habis ja hantar Fahri, sambil jalan dengan kawan kawan, mommy pun nangis. Nangis non stop. Call Bapak, nangis lagi. I cannot bear seeing you cry but it was definitely for your own good anak solehku.
Balik tu, Fahri jalan dengan Aleesya elok ja. Happy ja. Adoi laaa.
Day 5 - Bermula lagi drama di pagar. So I followed him sampai tapak assembly. Kat sini dia nangis dah takmau letak beg kat kelas. Luckily his teacher, Teacher Hasyimah came and asked "why are you crying Fahri?" She also calmed me saying sebenarnya time lain he's okay ja. Dia nangis sat ja, lepastu elok ja. So I told him to sit with Aleesya satgi waktu rehat. Dia peluk taknak lepas but I still insisted to leave so he sat well ja.
During recess, I went. I was there, FAHRI! You thought I wasn't around, but I was there. I saw how you sat next to Aleesya (God bless her!) and ate. I hope you would be more independent, but it takes time I understand. I just worry we become a hassle to Aleesya and her dad. Apapun I saw you till you enter your class. You didn't know, but it you read this one day, I was there. Waktu balik pun alhamdulillah elok ja, dia jalan dengan Aleesya.
Week 1 might be tough for Fahri but it is the same for me too. Aku rasa jantung aku nak pecah bila dia nangis tu. Gagah lah diriku ini.
Aku just harap as time goes, he would be less dependent towards his classmate, Aleesya. I wish the best for this girl for always helping him out. She would be successful in life, for sure. So is my son, inshaAllah. Cuma this journey la, a bit tough for mommy to face. It's new for you, but I hope you make friends soon.
Aminnnnn ya rabb.
Spread your wings my son. I love you so much, only Allah knows.
Love,
Mommy.
Farzanaley.
