Farley's Draft 1 #FarWrites

Okay. Let me make this thing clear. *assalamualaikum wbt by the way ahahah.

Once upon a time, I was a high school kid. Just like some people (most people I would say), I did become stupid. I was in 'love' I believe.

*trust me I've moved on, but as I was browsing through my old posts/drafts in my blogger dashboard, I actually found this poem made by me (lol how geli) but I honestly am impressed with myself.

Im so goooood man. So yeah, mind being in love with me? I might gonna write something for it. Lol jk jk. Not interested in any unless you're my crush. (again, jk!)

Trust me I have moved on. No hard feelings anymore, I even forgot how my ex looks like (haaaa lies I told, jk. he's still a friend in fb) but we're good. 

But even if him or any of my friends who used to know me and my stupid old days encounter this post, TRUST ME Im posting this poem just because I THINK IM FREAKING GOOD AT WRITING AND RHYMING.

Okay. Here it is. 

My 16 year-old self. Astagaaa gatai nohhh!

…buat dia yang pernah kuucapkan sayang

Sayang,

Pernah sekali kubilang cinta

Pada kau jejaka mutiara

Kau membalas mengucap rasa

Pada aku gadis permata

Kita kononnya ditakdir bersama

Pada usia mengenal matang

Bermimpi bersama hingga ke jinjang.

Kau jejaka manis belaka

Sayangku kau panggil

Hingga jatuh aku menggigil.

Saat kau harus pergi

Mengikut orang tua kesana ke mari

Jatuh air mataku tak pernah henti.

Lagu indah buatku kau dendang

menunjuk rasamu yang rancak bergendang

tersenyum aku dalam tangis tak hilang

engkau jejaka pandai membilang.

hilang kau tak berkhabar berita

bukan terjumpa si gadis baru

namun terlupa aku yang satu

akhirnya aku terus berharap

menanti janjimu kau ucap dulu

biar apapun terjadi kausayang aku

takkan dilupa biar tubuh kaku.

Hai jejaka penglipur lara,

sedih aku tak boleh dikira

tersenyum aku menerima berita

tersayu aku bukan kau si pencerita

hidup barumu indah belaka

teman baru keliling saja

bukan aku,

 malah sahabat turut dilupa.

Sedarlah wahai jejaka

aku ini insan biasa

andai aku masih kausuka

ucapkanlah cinta seperti dulu

katakanlah sayang selagi mampu.

bukan perlu berganti hari

setiap saat jauh sekali

sekadar bertanya khabar ku pinta

agar kutahu kaumasih setia.

sayang,

andai bukan aku untukmu

ucapkanlah tulus sejujurnya

sahabat selamanya kita bersama

itulah permulaan yang sebenarnya kita pernah bina.

buat kau yang pernah kuucapkan sayang,

hati ini tak pernah lekang

berdoa untukmu agar tak bimbang

hati yang lara Tuhan yang tahu

tersenyum megah di khalayak

menangis lemah kala bersendiri.

buat kau yang pernah kuucapkan sayang,

jujurlah padaku andai kau tak lagi suka

tinggalkanlah aku biar kita menjadi biasa

kau teman tetap sahabatku.

….buat kau yang pernah kuucapkan sayang

Sedarlah tulisku bukan sahaja

Coretanku bukan yang biasa

Untukmu kuluah dalam cerita

Agar kaufaham apa kurasa

Senyumlah sahabat yang pernah ku cinta

Aku hanyalah insan biasa,

Temanmu yang cuba mencoret rasa.

KAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so funneh right. Okay you may throw up now >.< But you cant deny that Im good right?! Ahah told you so.

And trust me. It's an old thing. Cant even find what was the date (but it was absolutely in 2010 I could tell ya ahaha)

So yeah, thanks for reading! (if there's any.)

Love, 

@farzanarosleyyy

Fareyfar

Farzana Rosley.

...of judging and being judged

Assalamualaikum wbt and hello everyone.

After scrolling a lot of shared posts on Facebook, I came across a video made by a Youtuber about people and their judgements.

The content of the video about our world today is so real; it got me into tears by the end of it. I'm not saying that I'm all nice or I've never judged people for the past 21 years I'm living. All I'm saying is that, how come some of us could simply say words without noticing the other person's feelings?

How come that when we hate a certain figure, we plainly go all saint and comment on their Instagram/Twitter/Facebook or all other social sites harshly? Who gave us the green light to simply do all of those things to them as if they have no feelings at all?

I'm not trying to preach but this matter is happening today and basically, the common act where we should be nice to people isn't common anymore. 

In Malaysia especially, a lot of these 'keyboard warriors' are really proud whenever they post something to embarrass people and include 'make this VIRAL!' as the title. Some of them aren't even true, and you just go spreading rumors not knowing if the source is reliable enough.

Okay. Back to the video, click >>HERE<< it is if you feel like watching it. The title of the video is --> YOU LOOK DISGUSTING . Made by the Youtuber with the Youtube account named My Pale Skin.

You can also watch it here. 

The lady in the video made a social experiment and yes, all the comments said to her are real! They're not made up!

Now. I am so pissed off with how society treats each other. We are human-beings. We love things nice. We like things pretty. We adore things perfect. Admit it.

When someone goes out of their house, with no make up, looking all hideous with some scars or acnes on their faces, showing their original looks, some of us would go; how come she doesn't take care of herself?; how could she carelessly go out of the house like that?

However, when she put all the make up and cover all the flaws on her face, you'd go; OH! You shouldn't! Be proud of yourself~ ; You're so fake. 

What do you really want HUMAN? Why don't you go drown yourselves or you should just don't give a d*mn with what people want to do with their looks? 

Urghhhh.

Honestly (for someone who've been applying some make-ups), we don't wear it because we care how you see us. Personally, I wear em because it made me feel good. It made me feel pretty. There're also some days when I don't apply any and it doesn't mean because I don't care about how I look at all. It just happened to be one of the days where I want my skin to breathe or I don't feel like putting any, just because!

The point here is, we should just let people do what they want.

We are all human-beings. We can't run from having the first bad impression of someone. However, it's what we think afterwards would define who we are. Whether we want to keep judging a person based on their looks or we would want to correct ourselves and just think nicely of that person.

Okay. I guess that's it for my mixed-emotions post of the day.  

To quote one of my favourite figure, Ellen DeGeneres; "Be kind to one another."

Spread kindness, love and positivity. (although I'm not really sure that I'm positive enough in this post >.<)

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Fartvxqhlovate.
Farzanaley.
Farzana Rosley.

Disease of writing,

Well hello and salam'alayk everyone.

It's like 10-15 days before final. And I realized I have a disease, which occurs only when the exam is near.

Like, right now? Ahaha, my exam is like around the corner (really at the edge I won't lie) but hell yeah, I feel like writing.
And currently Im actually doing my reflections (my assignment) so yeah Ive done two. So Im gonna take 5 and write this nonsense that no one would even read lol,

Im not sure why does this disease even exist, and why does it only occur to me and myself only? Or is it me that is too crazy not knowing how to manage things wisely? Aaaaaaaaaaa idek anymore.

So that's it actually. I just randomly write things, and planning to write more after this. Which includes my feelings; especially after what happened to Kris :( , living life with fellow Spartans and my withdrawal from certain people whom I see not worth standing together anymore.

I believe for the time being, that's my choice, yep I do.

And I believe I have this identity crisis but Im pretty sure of my choices,


That's it for now.
2 more reflections to go,adios.

Love,
@Farzanaley
Fareyfar
Farzanarosley
Fartvxqhlovate,
#FightingFar

...and the pain went away

So assalamualaikum wbt.

These days arent where people love to blogwalk anymore I guess..........so harap-harap ada la jugak sorang dua jawab salam tu haha or else I have to emmmm bajet hebat bukak blog sendiri and jawab salam sendiri? *okay I sound like someone who desperately needs a bog reader but NOPE, it's okay hahaha.

So. Today is the last day of class alhamdulillah. Finally! Foundation classes officially ends! But unfortunately final exam ada lagi la kan. *which I hmmm absolutely dont know what to scribble on the answer sheets next week !!

So last week, or this week's early days (fck whatever day it was) I fall sick. *which I rarely do. So when I did, it was like aghhhhh very teruk, cant even walk, no appetite, this and that and those...........

I was so thankful to my friends around me yang helped out, Kim Biel Wawa and Nana and whoever, yang stopped by at least to say get well soon ehehe.

The worst part of being ill was that I tak suka makan ubat okay. Like seriously I took an hour to finish at least two dose of medicine. Hmm.

But finally I was ehemmm kinda sorta touch when Ummi Abah sanggup turun Kuantan to visit me. *cuz memang I susah sakit kan -.-

I honestly am touched and absolutely terus rasa berdosa haha like yknow been a very ungrateful daughter. But I wasnt that bad laaa hehehe :p

Oh yeaaaa. You must would want to see what makes me almost cried. What my auntie said to me :

Hmmmm. I surely am touched. Sampai harini pun. Cant believe it la. Thanks ummi abah.

InshaAllah Ill do my best in final :')

and so.........the pain went way. Food poisoning and fever, hamdallah and biiznillah, berlalu. (actually sakit lagi 2 days after that but fever no more la hehe)

That's it. Alhamdulilah, semoga Allah redha :D

Love
FarzanaRosley
Fareyfar
Fartvxqhlovate

The interview.

Assalamualaikum.

So today I went to my previous school, SMKA Al-Irshad. I went there for one reason - to interview my English teacher, Madam Zaiton. She had taught me English since form4. However, she knew about me and my friends since form 1 or form 2 cuz we're awesome liddat hahaha. *of course, the record. we were kinda.....famous hahaha. But no harm, sebenarnya we were just being cheeky. There were only some teachers yg didnt really understand teens like us hahaha.

Okay. After melawat, I actually realised that I do, really, miss my schoolhood so much :') I know my foundation year is doing good but I cant help loving my past life - in Irshad :)

Alhamdulillah, I guess I was lucky enough to be part of Irshadian :)

Idk what's wrong w/ my lappy but I cant upload any pictureeeee >.< Penat je aku bukak nak update chaittt.

Hokay, this is the Quote of The Day, (picture edited by me). Exo Kris. :)

Love,
Farzanarosley.
Fartvxqhlovate.
Fareyfar.

DUDUK!

Assalamualaikum wbt. Today, Im gonna present you a story, entitled, "DUDUK!"

Kisahnya bermula begini. Di suatu malam yang hening di UiTM Kuantan Padang Lalang, TESLian group B dan D sedang belajar di Dewan Makan (takda makanan, tp digunakan untuk belajar -.-)

Kelas yang berjalan merupakan subjek Islamic Studies. Maka, pelajar2 ini belajarlah dengan penuh khusyuk. Seperti yang di-plan, para pelajar dan ustaz akan memulakan bacaan Yasin, di DM diketuai Ustaz Fathir, pada pukul 9 untuk mengelakkan sebarang gangguan yang semedang mengganggu anak2 muda di UiTM Kampus Padang Lalang tersebut. Beberapa pelajar naik ke atas untuk mengambil kitab Yasin mereka.

Setelah turun, seorang pelajar (known as Usher if Im not mistaken) whispered to Ustaz supaya menyedekahkan bacaan Yasin untuk atuknya yang juga baru sahaja meninggal dunia semasa itu. *takziah ana ucapkan kepada anta, jgn bersedih, Innallaha ma'ana. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi roji'un.

Maka, bacaan dimulakan dengan 2 niat. Mengelak gangguan and untuk arwah atuk Usher. OK, saya menulis terlalu pjg. Setelah selesai membaca Yasin dan doa, ustaz menyambung pelajaran to 10. Setelah tamat, kelihatan beberapa pelajar lelaki yg bukan dari group B n D masuk ke kawasan DM utk hug Usher. *Mungkin utk mengucapkan takziah kepada Usher, saya kira.

Usai membaca doa, ustaz benarkan kami utk pulang ke bilik. Tetapi, sekumpulan pelajar lelaki yang masuk kws DM td meminta kami utk duduk sebentar. Namun, secara tiba2, seperti panahan petir, terdengar satu tengkingan dari belakang menyatakan, "DUDUK DULU!!" *like a boss! Apakah dia fikir dia bapak saya atau org yg lagi tua dr saya utk tengking segerombolan pelajar sebegitu? Tambahan pula, ustaz masih di situ!

Some boys told that 'duduk' guy to calm down. So, one of the boys memulakan speech. Dia suruh kami baca al-Fatihah utk atuk Usher, so we did it.

Kemudian, dia ckp : Lepas ni, korang kalau nak buat apape, discuss la dulu. Usher ni sebenarnya nak balik, tp disebabkan ada kelas tiba2 mlm ni, dia taknak skip class, dia tak sempat jumpak atuk dia. Atuk dia baru...*he shed tear. Atuk dia meninggal.

Kemudian that 'duduk' guy tengking lagi : ATUK DIA MENINGGAL TAU TAK?! MENINGGAL?!
So, mulalah girls bersuara like 'eh apa ni' ' y blame us' 'takyah la nk jerit2'.

That ends the story. Bukannya cerita tu tergantung. Tapi malaih nak taip dah. 
K, let's discuss.

Nilai murni yg terdapat dlm cerita DUDUK ialah:

1. Sabar. (Saya begitu bersabar kerana tidak membalas tengkingan 'duduk guy'. Kalau bukan kerana saya tak tahan nak ke toilet kerana terlalu sejuk dan menghormati Usher yg masih sedih, saya diam. Grr.)
2. Redha. (Usher redha dengan pemergian atuknya. Dia diam sahaja. Tetapi org lain yg lebih2 nk tengking bagai. Aneh. Hm.)
3. Hormat menghormati. ( 'duduk guy' tidak mempunyai sikap hormat menghormati kerana menengking kami semua di hadapan ustaz. Saya yg tidak mmpunyai apa2 authority, ingin mewajibkan 'duduk guy' utk meminta maaf kepada ustaz kerana menengking di hadapan ustaz. Kami tidak sempat pun untuk mngucapkan 'Terima Kasih Ustaz'. Ustaz pergi mcm tu sahaja. Maafkan kmi Ustaz :( )
4. Kepimpinan. ( baguslah kepada the guy yg buat close up dgn cara yg baik. namun sedikit sinis. but who cares. Asal saya sempat pergi toilet -..- )

Pengajaran yg terdapat dlm cerita DUDUK! ialah :

1. Kita jgnlah nak berlagak like a boss, berjalan in the middle of a crowd sambil silang tangan lepas tu tengking tengking org seperti 'duduk guy'.
2. Kita mestilah menghormati org yg telah pergi. Jgn lah menengking2 ats sesuatu kematian. Bukanlah salah sesiapa ats pemergian atuk Usher. "semua yg hidup pasti akan mati" Dan maafkan semua org Usher, it's not like all of us knows that your grandpa sedang sakit. Takziah sekali lg from ana. Ana harap enta tabah. Sedekahkanlah Yasin selalu jika rindu. In shaa Allah, atuk enta tenang di sana.
3. Kita hendaklah bermaaf-maafan sesama kita. Saya maafkan duduk guy. Tapi mohon duduk guy pergi memohon maaf dari ustaz jua.
4. KITA HENDAKLAH BERBINCANG DAHULU SEBELUM MEM-PLAN CLASS. (walaupun ini adalah punca pergaduhan, saya berani jamin, kisah DUDUK! ini, tiada sesiapa yang patut disalahkan.)

Sekian. Itu saja kot. 

Love, 
Fartvxqhlovate.
Farzana Rosley.
TESLIAN GD :)

UiTM TESL Interview. (My Experience)

Assalamualaikummmmm wbt ! :)
Uri marinya! ( It's been a long time.)
Hehe. Bukan lah long time sgt pun. Long time tak tulis pasal diriku :)

I want to narrate about my interview experience. Bukan aku intebiu org, tp org intebiu aku la kan. haha
It was yesterday.
Alhamdulillah. I'm so lucky to get nice panels. Panel aku Panel Four.
Both interviewers are women. So, selesa banyak :)

Memula, ujian bertulis. Yg tu biasa la. Conteng jela apa yg boleh on the answer sheets given kan.

The next was, walk-in interview. Kisahnya bermula setelah namaku dipanggil.....

SITI FARZANA!

Maka aku mula mengaturkan langkahku ke bilik intebiu. ( Knon nk amek tesl, atuq ayat bunga kemain. haha)

K. baca la.

Interviewer : Tell us about yourself.  

Far : *start to merapu about myself* I end the speech by saying my occupation : Lecturer.

I : y would u want to be a lecturer instead of being a tcr?

F : Well, just bcause I want to teach big people...(stupid answer. )

I : Big ppl? It's not tht u want to teach big people... U want to teach adults... big people are fat people... (smilingly)

F : haha yeah. that's what I meant.

I : Y do u think u can teach adults? Y not kids n sch studnts?

F : That's bcuz Im afraid I cn lose my temper towards naughty kids. I could easily scold them whenever I want. So, I think I want to teach adults bcuz they're alr matured.

I : Do you really think u can stand adults? Bcuz of their maturity, they cn provoke u. They cn think alr.. What wud u do if they provoke u? Or being rude to u?

F : Well... I'll be........ (hesitates for agk lama -.-') SERIOUS towards them! (actually nk ckp strict, tp ayt tu didnt cross my mind :( )

I : aren't u serious right now?

F : Yes.. I am serious. But i'll be MORE serious. (still tk jumpak ayt yg ssuai..hish )

I : ok.. hw about the current issue? What do u want to talk about the current edu issue?

F : well this morning I just read about the JPA scholarship has been announced. But of course, I'm not qualified for it -.-' And I also read about the ptptn issue. Yknow, tht ppl
want to stop it. ( aku ckp stop? haha abolished kot)
I : YEAHH.. y wud u think it shud b abolished?
F : Bcuz I think the government is able to do it. They shud pay for students. Free edu, yknow?
I : Since u wnt to be a lecturer, hw cn they pay u ur salary since there's no study fee from the studnts?
F : For IPTA, I'm very sure the government has divide the salary for lecturers.
I : that's for IPTA.. hw about IPTS? (smiled broadly)
F : Err then the IPTS studnts need to pay laa. ( kluaq laa...)
The interviewer laughed. *relief*
I : Ok, Farzana, I got no other questions for u.. Do u hve any?
F : *asked ques blh ke tk p oversea*

Then dpa ckp boleh.
Then interviewer tu ckp, kalau aku nk jd lecturer, ak kna ada master (at least)

Aku takde la tulis full. Tapi yg psti, tempoh aku kena tu sat je. Ikut org laa. And tgk masa jugak.

I've did my best. Merapu byk jugak tuu -.-' Bukan sengaja. SUMPAH. Nervous k.
Sekarang, bergantung kepada rezeki.

That's it :)

Harini pergi interview DQ pulak. Alhamdulillah boleh hafal 1 page in 1 hour. Tapi gagap banyak la kan. haha. Hm. Aku beruntung sbnrnya. Dpt surah yg senang lekat. And, Interviewer hari ni pun baik jugak. Tak garang, and they let me to be comfortable first :)

Terharuuu :') Thank you Allah ♥ so much!

...sebarkan keindahan dalam dakwah

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Harini nak tulis pasal pendekatan + dakwah.
Actually I read the picture above at Hilal Asyraf's (the famous Langit Illahi author) status :)

What I really want to say is about pendekatan..

Islam is simple - easy and interesting.
Tapi pendekatan yang selalu kita guna buatkan orang bukan islam fikir yang islam ni kolot - kalut and annoying.

Why is it like that?
Sebenarnya kita lupa satu perkara dalam elemen dakwah. It needs 'berhikmah'. We need to be wise. Rasulullah seorang yg berhikmah dalam dakwah2 baginda, so kenapa kita umat baginda yang average + bukan maksum nak berdakwah secara over?

Don't make people hate Islam.
Aku ingat lagi masa aku form 1, Dr Danial Zainal Abidin pernah datang ke sekolah aku.
Part of his speech was,

" Kita ni bila berdakwah suka takutkan orang. Nak buat Islam ni nampak scary, nampak Islam ni macam satu agama yang desperate, pressure, padahal Islam tu INDAH. Tengok orang Kristian berdakwah macam mana, 'Jesus loves you... Jesus dies for you...'. Tapi kita, orang Islam, 'Takutlah Allah! Takutlah kamu kepada Allah!' Kenapa nak buat orang takut pada Allah? Allah itu Indah, Maha Kaya, Maha Cantik, kenapa nak suruh orang takut kepada Allah?! Apa yang perlu orang takut ialah AZAB Allah! Balasan Allah kepada orang yang berbuat mungkar.. Yang buat benda betul mesti lah Allah layan baik, Allah sayang.... "
* surely ada ayat tokok tambah + edit. sebab mana nak ingat ayat sebenar Dr. Form 1 kot masa tu >.<'

Anyhow,
Betul kata Dr :)
Allah tak menakutkan. Azab Allah saja yang kita perlu takut.
Sebab benda tu nanti kekal. Di akhirat sana.
Dunia ni sementara. (#notetoself)

So, what I really want to say is, jangan pressure dalam berdakwah. Kita takda kuasa nak ubah semua tu. Kita boleh berdakwah, tapi yang nak bagi hidayah for them to change is Allah.

Still, semoga kita sama2 berubah :') #notetoself.

Love,
Farzana Rosley.

(inshaAllah I will write about my visit to Baitullah :') There's too much to tell. So, taktau nak start dari mana :) )

Halalkan ilmu yang diajar kepada saya

Assalamualaikum w.b.t to all :)

Dalam kesibukan harian yang ada hari jadi babysitter, ada hari jadi maid and ada certain day jadi penanam anggur, tiba-tiba teringat nostalgia tahun lepas; 2011.

Tadi petang pergi sekolah hantar barang kat adik aku. Then aku extend leher aku sepanjang boleh ke arah ASPURI. Mana tau adik-adik dorm kesayangan tayang muka.

Rindu moments masa bersembang sakan dengan adik-adik dorm and adik lain. Entah bila lagi nak buat comeback kat Irshad. HAHA :P

Tapi kecewa besar harini. Just nampak adik-adik berwajah baru yang secara sahnya tak kenal aku, with blurred faces, dengan tudung masih putih berkilat, aku boleh buat konklusi pantas, they're newbies :) the 2012s.

Not to forget, sempat pusing ke arah Surau Al-Ansori ( pusat ilmu-ibadah-ukhuwah). Nampak surau penuh tadi. Ada kereta Cikgu Hayati kat depan surau. Aku zoom in ke dalam surau. OH! Si baju hijau, HAHA the prefects were having their meetings :)
Kalau aku still Irshadian tadi, aku tau masa tu aku tengah sibuk su'uzhon dengan pengawas. HAH, entah-entah ada spot-check. Then baru nak fikir sama ada that week aku suci dari segala barang haram or not. 

However, aku dah tak perlu lalui lagi semua jenis gentar tu. Alhamdulillah, time passed, things happened and I'm a grown-up girl. Masih maintain muda, tu real fact, tapi masih mentah untuk tempuh the new world after this.

Then saat-saat ni mula la nak timbul rindu. Wah (ayat bunga tak? HAHA)! Dan ada cerita disebalik rindu tu. Mungkin teringat ustaz yang selalu pandang muka aku dengan muka tak berperasaannya, tapi aku menangis bila dia tak ajar kelas aku :') Tapi tu cerita dulu. Ajar kelas aku or not, he's still my ustaz :)

Masa nak ambil SPM last year, semua Fivers 0711 the Ambassadors sibuk pergi mintak redha cikgu. Yelah, dah nak exam. Nak mintak cikgu-teacher-ustaz ampunkan segala salah and halal segalanya.

Masa mintak maaf, rasa sayu memang ada. Yelah, aku bukan student baik. Masa f1 sampai f3 asyik buat pemberontakan besar-besaran. Bila dah f4 baru besaq sikit haha, then the real life began.

Then we asked for apology. Kami mintak semua cikgu halalkan ilmu yang diberi. Well, sebenarnya kami pilih ayat yang salah. Tak sesuai.

Kata ustaz, ilmu itu milik Allah. Allah suruh kita ambil apa yang Dia nak bagi. 

Maka ilmu yang kita dapat selama ni memang lah sudah halal! Yang ustaz perlu lakukan hanyalah dengan memaafkan segala sikap degil-buas kami dan meredhai segalanya kepada kami.

So, apa motif bercerita? Hm, takda motif. Ilmu itu milik Allah.

Dah halal. Apapun, I miss my teachers there in SMKA Al-Irshad. I mean, the sweet moments we got there :)

Doakan saya terus kuat melayari bahtera hidup.

Love,

Farzana Rosley

Fartvxqhlovate

Agama dan Politik di Malaysia.

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Hari ni aku ada terjumpak satu blog.

She speaks naturally to her heart, not mind.

And I wonder what made her.

All her post for politics are soooo baseless.

I am mad. Tapi sabar. 

And yes,

Aku masih bawah umur untuk bersuara.

But trust me, 

for Islam, for my agama, I will not fight,

but I will speak truth.

Dekat sekolah aku pun, ramai dah mula semangat politik.

Some may say, "I hate politics"

But if it's not us to know, and to fight for our agama, who will?

And I felt kinda weird when we learnt agama deeply in school, but still cannot make the right choice. 

WHY? Faktor keturunan? Hmmm, that's their choice. I can't do anything.

Betul la. I have to agree, hati manusia, Allah yang pegang :')

And I have to agree too that there's no PERFECT POLITIC PARTY in the world. 

Tapi, ugh. ok stop. aku takut over the limit.

May I'm blessed and live well to the age of 22.

Tangan aku dah gatal nak menaip pasal politik.

Fight for agama Allah!

Takbir!

Allahuakbar!

p/s : i love green :) and white too.

FarzanaRosley.
fartvxqhlovate

Go for what you love most

Hm, assalamualaikum wbt.

I hope everybody's doing fine.

Memandangkan kelahiran 1994 di Malaysia ni hampir keseluruhannya semakin kalut untuk menempuh SPM, aku kena jugak lah tulis post kan. Ahaha, to release my stress lepas perjumpaan waris haritu.

Well, buat masa sekarang, aku rasa result aku boleh tahan on certain subjects. 

But on the other certain subjects, buat aku rasa macam nak cekik diri sendiri especially AddMaths.

OK, cut those.

Niat mengepos adalah kerana, pada tanggal 24 Jun yang lalu ketika aku and classmates aku baru je habis belajar pasal fizik, we had a peningkepala conversations, which is about our future. Benda ni memang happen very frequent la these days. Maybe sebab sangat takut.

We talked about our ambition. And honestly, I don't find one. YET. Neither them. 

So, we asked each other about what we love most. Adila cakap nak belajar benda yang senang. Tkahwani memang dah letak dalam otak dia nak ambil engine. Iqa sama pening dengan aku. Peah cakap nak belajar kat Russia. Tapi course apa entah ( aku lupa, my bad).

So I suddeny said, aku ni had a sudden interest on being a subbers. ( tukang bagi subtitle untuk cerita2 kat TV tu..) Tapi nak jadi Korean Shows Subber. ( aku taktau lah subber tu official ka dak perkataan dia)

Yang aku tau, benda tu agak mudah, cuma it takes time la. Tambah pulak, subjek bahasa tambahan yang aku ambil bukannya Korea, it's Arabic. 

Aku tak kesah je kalau nak jadi Arabic Subber pun. Asal benda tu macam, errrr, aku minat?

When I said that, Iqa cakap, go for what you love most. 

That sentence scared me. Bukan ke zaman sekarang ramai penganggur sebab belajar ikut minat? I am that scared. And bagi pelajar macam aku yang masih takdak ambition, of course aku kena tau!

Hmmm, post ni agak tergantung. But if, ada pembaca yang tengah dok Uni and menyesal ambil course yang dia minat, please comment and bagi sikit tips macam mana nak cari cita2. Haha, or ada orang yang ambil course yang dia tak minat tapi dia hidup jaaa. So, tell me. I need cadangan. 

Thank you, 

love 

Fartvxqhlovate.

Fareyfar :)

Kemalangan yang mengubah hidup aku.

Salam’alayk. 

Mungkin ada yang sudah maklum, and maybe ada yang tak. OK, kalau you’re the people around me, of course, you knew it. Kalau taktau, meh nak cecita sekali lagi.

Tanggal 11 April 2011, merupakan tarikh yang berjaya mengubah hidup beta. 100%! Kalau ikutkan, I was about to cry la. Tapi to think twice, it was my own fault. And it happened. So it became takdir. Apalah dayaku nak mengubah semua tu kan. Ehee, (ok, aku masih belum bagitau apa yg berlaku! Sorry melalut)

11 April tu, aku accident. Kalau ikut bahasa sebenar, jatuh moto je pun. Meh nak cecita detail. Pasai aku dah tak larat hari-hari dok Jawab soklan hampa. Haihh-,-‘ Kisahnya, ber mulaaaaaa. Begini,

*jatuh motoo. ahaha,

It was 7 am – sekolah masuk 7.20 – so, pecut – depan aku ada bus- pi belah kanan nak potong, ada keta datang berduyun – pi belah kiri – nk potong belah kiri – bawak 90 km/h – nmpk tiang elektrik – brek mengejut – gedebangggg! JATUH MOTORRR. – nangis – bangun cepat2 – ada sorg pkcik mai tlg – nangis lagi – pkcik tu tlg angkat moto – nangeh lagi – say thanks to that pkcik – nangis lagi – naik moto balik – cancel plan nak pi sekolah – nangih atas moto heading home – sampai rumah – nangis – kena marah – mak bwk pi klinik – doctor check tkda apa – cuci luka – tiba2 pengsan – nangeh lagi – masuk hospital – xray bla3 – dok hospital 3 hari – khamis pi sekolah. [TITIK]

Tu je pun cita dia. Accident tuh tak parah sangat. Anggota badan aku yang belah kanan luka teruk gak la. Tapi still functioning Alhamdulillah. Glad to live and breathe with the same air as how you guys do, Alhamdulillah again.

And what makes me sayyyyyyy it changed about a WHOLE life of mine? Well, the link is like this :

Aku anak dara – naik moto laju – accident – tkleh naik moto dah – kena berulang – padahal aku tkdak masalah ja anak naik moto lagi! – mak aku tkleh hntar everyday – MASUK HOSTEL.

The feeling is like, OHMYGODDDD. I have a life, and it turns to nothing when it comes to be a hostel student! What the -.-‘

OK! Jangan simply jump into conclusion to read what I said. Ok, things were like this, I was a hostel kid. And I was forced to be a berulang kid when I was form 3, and I’ve used to live as a berulang kid for aboput 2-3 years. And now, I’m form 5, and again, I’m forced to be a hostel kid. AGAIN. The feeling is just the same. I was forced. And I feel bad. Very bad. 

Sedih.

Takdir. Faith. OK, ;(

Maybe it’s good for me, and He knows well. Come hell or high water I have Allah.

OK, I’m still feeling blue :’(

Salam’alayk.

LOVE, FARTVXQHLOVATE.

...tangisku di 1 syawal

bukan jenisku untuk berpuitis. yang kutulis, segalanya datang dari minda yang senantiasa terbuka.


seperti orang lain, pagi syawalku bermula dengan sesi bermaafan seisi keluarga. tak perlulah kuceritakan lebih lanjut mengenainya. sesi bermaafan kali ini lebih santai. tiada airmata yang jatuh dipipiku walau setitis. berat kuakui, semakin besar aku, semakin malu untukku biarkan airmata ini jatuh terutama dihadapan ahli keluargaku. aneh kerana dihadapan sahabatku, kubiarkan ia menghujani pipiku, membanjiri kelopak mataku.


ahh. bukan itu niatku menulis indah pada hari ini.


yang ingin dilanjutkan, setelah ke surau bersolat sunat aidilfitri dan mendengar khutbah yang disampaikan ayahku penuh gentar dia akui. tersilap kata, berpeluh basah. nah, aku hanya tersenyum. di kala itu, aku rasa kosong. rayaku tahun ini tidak terisi seperti dulu. nah. aku abaikan bahagian luahan hati ini.


yang kumahu ceritakan! 


setelah bersiap segala pada pukul 2 mungkin, aku, ibubapaku, serta kaklongku ke kubur. agak lewat, yaa. kerana kesibukan bapaku ke kubur menjadi imam bacaan doa. tanggungjawabnya tak harus diabaikan jua. lagipun, kami ingin terus menghantar kaklongku ke jetty atas sebab dia harus bekerja malam ini.
sampai dikubur, kami sedekahkan doa dan surah buat arwah datuk dan nenek yang meninggalkan kami pada 4 Oktober 2003 dan 11 November 2008.


tamat bacaan, kami keluar dari kawasan perkuburan. pandanganku terhenti pada lelaki yang kukenali. cacat, bapa saudaraku. namun bukanlah adik ibuku. cuma sepupu ibuku. cacat lelaki ini bukan semulajadi. namun, takdir Tuhan, akibat demam panas. maka sistem tumbesaran otaknya terbantut mungkin. tak kutahu semua itu. 
aku terlepas pandang sekumpulan sahabatnya yang turut melintasi aku sekeluarga. ayahku yang tiba-tiba bersuara, "adik, ada duit kecil tak?"
aku hanya mengangguk. namun belum sempat kuhulurkan kepada ayahku, dia sudah punya tukaran tersebut lantas menghulurkannya kepada sahabat-sahabat bapa saudaraku.


dalam malas, aku toleh, siapa pulaaa. detusku dalam hati. 


melihat 5 wajah suci ini, aku terdiam. suci mereka bukannya apa. kuyakin, umur mereka semestinya lebih lanjut dariku, dan aku sudah tidak pusing lagi megelilingi kampungku untuk beraya. dan lima wajah kurang upaya ini kuperhati dalam-dalam. dalam sombong dan jahilku ini, timbul rasa kasihan. dan aku sedih. 
perlahan si lelaki cacat itu menjawab " te...trima...kasih."


YA! mungkin dia gagap. kerana dia tidak punyai kelebihan yang satu itu, bertutur normal sepertiku. sungguh aku terdiam seribu bahasa. aku dikakukan oleh 5 hamba Allah yang mungkin fizikalnya cacat, namun kupercaya dan yakin, hati mereka sesuci kainputih. saat itu mataku bergenang.
tangannya menggerekot ke dalam. jalannya capik. sungguh, dalam keadaan itu, mereka tetap berjalan mengelilingi kampung. mungkin kerana otak mereka yang tumbesarannya berbeza dari manusia normal sepertiku. 


ayah mengarahku masuk ke dalam kereta. kereta mula bergerak. dan lima si cacat tadi masih berjalan capik untuk meneruskan perayaan mereka barangkali.
ayah mengeluh " kalau kita ada kat rumah sekarang, boleh hidang makan..."
tiba-tiba kaklongku bersuara menyuruh ayahku berhenti.
"kenapa?" aku menyoal perlahan. aku kembali tenang. angkuhnya aku, air mata kembali ke tempatnya, tidak jadi turun.
" tadi abah sedekah, akak nak sedekah jugak." alongku turun dari kereta dan kembali menuju kearah mereka. 
kutoleh sekali lagi. wajah mereka menerima wang itu sungguh tak dapat kutafsirkan bagaimana. namun dikala itu aku sedar, sungguh aku lemah. insan bongkak dan tidak tahu bersyukur. hidupku dilimpahi kemewahan malahan dikurniakan anggota fizikal yang normal. walaubagaimana pun, ada saja yang tidak kena dimataku. 
lima si kurang upaya tadi melambai-lambai lagi sambil tersengih. air liurnya sedikit meleleh. sahabatnya tolong mengelap dengan tangan yang turun menggerekot itu.
lantas aku pusing depan. nah. aku sudah tidak sanggup.
saat along masuk kembali kedalam kereta, aku masih diam.
"kasihannya..." tiba-tiba aku bersuara. along hanya tersenyum pahit. 
"kasihannya..." aku ulang lagi. along hanya diam tak berespon.
"kasihannya...isk" kali ini ulangan ini diiringi airmata. sungguh aku menangis. egoku jatuh. kuakui wahai pembaca kalam, saat aku merakamkan kembali kisah ini, aku masih mengangis sambil menaip. tak dapat kulupakan lima wajah suci itu.
along tersenyum. " bersyukur dengan segala nikmat yang kita dapat.."


aku menangis dan terus menangis. tadi kurasa syawalku pada 2010 ini kosong, kini terisi penuh. mungkin bagiku ia membosankan, namun bagi mereka insan suci itu, sungguh bermakna. sambil aku menangis menulis tinta ini, kuberi pesan buat sang pembaca, moga kisah ini memberi teladan. sungguh ini pengalamanku. 
menjadi tangisku di 1 syawal..


:'( 
ku doakan kesihatan mereka yang kujumpa tadi berkekalan. agar dapat mereka teruskan hidup dengan lebih tabah. 
tak kukesal...tangisku di 1 syawal.

-fartvxqhlovate

siti farzana rosley

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